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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23752300">Heroic Gesture</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/essekgaylyss/pseuds/essekgaylyss'>essekgaylyss</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Critical Prompts [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Critical Role (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Essek has friends, M/M, Wizards talking about their emotional problems</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 16:26:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>733</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23752300</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/essekgaylyss/pseuds/essekgaylyss</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A different ending to the negotiations. In which Essek is sad, and Caleb has some advice.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Critical Prompts [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1711009</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>57</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Heroic Gesture</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The sun had long gone done when Essek found himself on the deck of the Balleater. The negotiations had gone as good as he could have hoped for. The beacon returned to the Dynasty, the prisoners exchanged, and yet, Essek did not feel the joy he had expected. There was no excitement or thrill for what was to come, no pride for his actions. There was only the slight rocking of the ship, the waves crashing against its sides, and the moons staring down at him. The Mighty Nein had gone to their cabins some time ago, allowing him kindly to stay for one more night before he had to return to Rosohna. He leaned over the railing, watching the water drift by as he let his mind wander.</p>
<p>
  <em>Essek Thelyss. Shadowhand to Leylas Kryn. Prodigy of the Kryn Dynasty. </em>
</p>
<p>From a young age, he had known what he wanted, had known how to get it. He had been taught that no matter how impossible, he was the one who could achieve it. There had been no worth in caring about anything but himself and his goals.</p>
<p>
  <em>Until they came along.</em>
</p>
<p>He sighed as he pushed himself away from the railing, and as he turned, he noticed the cat, sitting not far away from him, staring at him intently.</p>
<p>“Are you spying on me?” He mumbled, as he picked Frumpkin up and started scratching his chin softly. A soft purr filled the night as the cat pressed closer into his palm. Essek could feel the corners of his mouth rise.</p>
<p>“My cat seems to have taken a liking to you,” Essek turned towards the voice, finding a wide-awake, red-haired wizard standing at the door to the cabins. His hand stopped in his tracks, immediately causing Frumpkin to abandon him for his owner. The Drow stared at the man in front of him, mouth agape, searching for words, the awkward silence ever expanding.</p>
<p>“What are you doing out here?” Caleb closed the door behind him before stepping closer.</p>
<p>“Thinking.” The tension in the air was thick, Essek was usually able to handle these situations well if it weren’t with <em>him</em>.</p>
<p>Essek took a closer look at Caleb. He wasn’t wearing his fancy coat anymore, having traded it for a simpler one, Xhohasian style, nevertheless. He remembered first seeing him at the party, the long coat framing his stature perfectly. It had taken him a second to gather his thoughts back then, to not let it show that he was utterly enthralled by this man.</p>
<p>“I’m glad the negotiations went well.” – “Me too.”</p>
<p>Caleb sighed visibly, now standing merely a foot away from Essek. The Drow turned away, once more focusing his gaze onto the waves. In a way the reflected his thoughts, crashing into each other, never calm. For what felt like hours, there was a thick silence hanging in the air and Essek thought maybe Caleb had left him.</p>
<p>“It never goes away completely.” Caleb was leaning against the railing as well when Essek turned his head. “It gets better. They make it better. They make you forget but there will always be this little voice in your head telling you, you do not deserve any of this.”</p>
<p>“Is that a bad thing?” – “Not entirely. You should remember your faults to not repeat them, but you should also know that you deserve a second chance. That there are people who will stand behind you and support you.” Caleb was looking directly at Essek, for the first time that night, he felt like maybe there was a chance to redeem himself, to right his wrongs.</p>
<p>“Do you know that?” This made the human look at his hands, fidgeting with his fingers, he licked his lips.</p>
<p>“No always,” he replied, “But they remind me of it.”</p>
<p>Essek sighed, his anxiety getting the better of him once more. “I don’t know what to do, where to start. What you have done for me, how could I ever repay this debt?”</p>
<p>“Trust is not built through heroic gestures. It’s the small things that make friendships, <em>family.</em> And it takes time, effort, yes, but you’re not doing this alone. We’re not letting you do this alone. Do you understand this?”</p>
<p>“I think so. I’m just unaccustomed to having friends.”</p>
<p>“You better get used to it because once you’re a member of the Mighty Nein, there is no escaping.”</p>
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